:(

I'm so sososoosoo sad I'm going to miss the choir so much heck I'm going to miss being in a choir altogether.

It's nearing the end of the year and it's like only been 5 months that I've taken over and in another 9 months, I'm stepping down. yeah yeah 9 months is such a long time why am I so sentimental now. 

I've grown so so attached. I didn't even realise how much I've grown to love choir, it's insane. And me being me, I'm emotionally attached to my stationery goodness I don't want to know how I'm going to handle no more choir. 

Last month's practice we were having post-mortern for our recent choral competition ((3rd in category, 1st Singapore choir in terms of points; 82.25)) you know what let me just stray away for a while.

I almost was going to die on the seat on stage. Like since they called for the choir reps to stand at the side of the stage, I was literally literally shaking away. Like I was having muscle spasms in my legs that would not go away. I was so scared that it was super obvious and I'll get like a panic attack on stage or something so I shook away for 20 minutes standing at the side. And shook even more when I was sitting on stage waiting for the v v v slow MC to make his entrance again. I think the noise and chanting made it so much worse like i was shaking to the extent that my teeth were chattering and I couldn't stop. I think it got obvious after a while because the reps sitting beside me started looking my way as I tried to stop shaking. It was so horrible. 

But thankfully after waiting for like 20 minutes for the intros and some video it award ceremony started. One glance at my choir heads at the audience and I could tell they were dying too. So there were like 4 (?) categories in front of mine (A2- equal voices under 16) and my cat was the biggest aha. I wasn't even bothered by the bronze awardees, I knew PLOV was above that. So when they started calling the silvers, I was mentally steeling myself to accept anything. Keep in mind I was still uncontrollably shaking. I was like "please please not yet nononono nono" after the said the points for every awardee. I wanted the gold for the choir sosososoosooooo bad
then when she finally called out the first gold award (80+ points) i just closed my eyes and tried not to piss myself. because i really knew it was going to be PL and wows yes it was and i was still shaking when i was walking out i just prayed for my life that i won't trip and fall while walking up i would literally kill myself there and then. But i didn't thankfully and yay i managed to smile for the official photograph through the intense feels and anxiety wrecking my body (not being descriptive here at all aha)

Here's the photo wowee!!!

then after that Isabel Danisha and i were hyperventilating and randomly shrieking in Mr Ng's car like the girls we are like i couldn't even talk i just went here heee heee heee ahahah it was surreal. And when i got home i was so spent because of the anxiety and excitement i literally collapsed and woke up with a headache the next day, which was a monday.... yay

ok back to practice. so during the break of that that particular practice, i went to danisha and was like "i don't want to leave like time is passing so fast and i just want to stay and be here but we cant and I'm just going to miss them so much" and at that point i was literally already in tears and i did all that i could so that the rest of the choir won't see their sarcastic, annoying and joking president cry over leaving when its not even 2015 yet. Honestly, I've been scared of leaving ever since I've been installed and i keep bringing it up which scares me even more :(

Its just project after project, after founders day we have the combined performace with some Finnish choir then caroling at gardens by the bay!!!! i want to carol so bad omg i love it I'm so happy that we get to do it!!! then there choir camp, sec 4 farewell, exco sleepover (and camp planning), need to churn out the choir hoodie, camp shirts, choir boards (and section photos ugh SAM HELP). I'm really excited for the choir i love you guys like i treat y'all like my babies iM GOING TO MISS YALL EVEN THOUGH I HAVE LIKE 6 MORE MONTHS BUT I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH CAPS LOCK IS PROBABLY ANNOYING YOU NOW ok ill stop. so many love hearts for you guys 

I'm like some mum uh (・ω・)ノ