broke down while marking my own chemistry mcq. as i marked more answers wrong felt my already thinning resolve to get my shit together disintegrating. I know its too early to see my work paying off but really, some of these topics are stuff that i should know really well but yet I'm still the last in class for chemistry. how the actual hell did i make it into pure sciences. my only motivation to get into the A band classes was because i was scared of some people in the B band. other than that, i have no place in the pure sciences classes honestly, I'm so bad at it.

at times like this i really wonder why I'm in such a shity education system. if its making students demean themselves and get suicidal thoughts, I'm pretty sure its time for the ministry to wake up their idea