wow so many things happened from my last post till now. with my prep results, theres no way i can dpa anymore lul, i couldn't even get an A for English i got freaking 69.6, i really disappointed myself wth my geog, ss, english and math marks. Even tho for ss i studied a chapter that didn't come out (prayforchloe2k15 thank you 4A4) i feel so regretful now because i did so surprisingly well for my sbq like really really well but for seq i got 3.5/15 ugh. And i failed geog, when i studied so hard for it and i was so confident to get an A for it so now my combined humanities mark is a just pass omg ew what even i just. 

I finally found a working music player for my blog too so im very happy hehe but all the music is korean sorry not sorry????? 

i just realised how extremely fantastic my brain is as literally picking apart a song, whenever im listening to something i could tell exactly what the person is singing, the bass lines, the harmonies everything. It was as if my brain would take the music and dismantle it in my brain as i listen to it. Its hella annoying but really insightful bc i love details and because my ears are so tuned to listening to everything i spot little 'easter eggs' in the music and i literally have an inside joke with myself!! lmao im so lame. I was so shocked when some of my friends had to go find lyrics (for english songs) when i literally could just tell everything apart im so strange lah. so this also means i can never stone and listen to music because i cant zone out with music, gears are forever turning in my head. its a blessing and a curse idk are "music analysts" a kind of career????

One thing that really attracted me to kpop is really the attention to detail and concepts of basically every single nitty gritty thing. Like how red velvet's concept is red=fun cute bubbly and velvet=classy mature image so when they release songs theres one cutesy one and one more serious one which is very well thought out and gives direction for the group. Also choreography is bomb, ive watched call me baby so many times that i dance it in my head hueheuehuehue. 

yeah idk im quite happy in my korean phase, i think im staying here for a long while (once u xiumin, you cant xium-out) 

oh yeah and im changing course, im going into arts business management in np now instead of psych in tp because i figured i cant live without music so might as well make a job out of it and study it right?? i read about it and it look pretty rad, it involves social psych which is my second fav form of psych so yayyy and "What’s more, if you have talent in dance, music, theatre or visual arts, you can apply for the Talent in the Arts Grant (TAG) – a special scheme that sponsors ABM students for lessons in these various art forms, in and outside of Singapore!" - quoted from np website under the abm thing. i dont have talent lah but with my choir experience i cn apply under that and continue singing hehehe its quite cool so why not man.

ok bye i need to get started on my stack of bio spa skill 3 worksheets (last ever SPA in term 3 i cant wait eh omg yessssss)

please enjoy the music even if you dont like kpop, majority of it is quite relaxing/emo the other half will make you want to dance

broke down while marking my own chemistry mcq. as i marked more answers wrong felt my already thinning resolve to get my shit together disintegrating. I know its too early to see my work paying off but really, some of these topics are stuff that i should know really well but yet I'm still the last in class for chemistry. how the actual hell did i make it into pure sciences. my only motivation to get into the A band classes was because i was scared of some people in the B band. other than that, i have no place in the pure sciences classes honestly, I'm so bad at it.

at times like this i really wonder why I'm in such a shity education system. if its making students demean themselves and get suicidal thoughts, I'm pretty sure its time for the ministry to wake up their idea

I'm tired I'm really really tired. i cant even stay up as late to finish my work or even study extra because i end up falling asleep on my table and upon waking up feeling groggy and my face hurting like crap bc of my spectacles.

wow i cant wait to pass O levels i cant even explain the urgency of me going into poly i find it so unreal that my time here is so short yet at the same time, even longer than primary school education.

Also I'm stepping down in 21 days and d-7 what to hecK. also cant believe the choir I've been building up for the past year will just be handed over to the next person just like that. I'm not concerned about the next batch screwing it up because i know for sure it'll be fine but, will they miss me? will what i have contributed be acknowledged whatsoever? I'm not sure, and i probably will never know but what i know is, the amount of tears and time put into it was so worth it. And i don't mind starting from scratch and building everything up again if i had to.

so i lost my diary zzz so I'm using my to-do list flippy thing but wth man how can i lose a diary.  going for night study tomorrow aka 6 hours of studying after school gg to my brain. then barker carnival on saturday morning and tuitions after that in the afternoon and maybe ill get sum food then mug in the library in the evening.

my class has been into the 5 love languages thing recently and i took the test (for like the 5th time) and surprise surprise my first love language is a tie of words and action. my last being quality time hahha when i told my friends that everyone wanted to throw their shoe at me. Its not that i don't treasure time spent but because I'm introverted by nature i actually get super tired sometimes just by being around people???? especially if we're walking around. I wouldn't mind it as much if we were super comfortable and we were talking rubbish at like starbucks but my mental image of spending time with someone is strangely me being high and social while feeling sosososo tired on the inside. this will sound completely alien to someone extroverted and i don't blame them. I too will not be able to grasp how extroverted people can "gain" energy from being with people all the time. I would really rather chill in the library by myself (depending idk) as i said there are many factors and i have my limit so yeah my worst score was quality time.

However you cant have words or actions without spending time with a person so eh hahaha

meh i felt a need to update this space idk why but it feels good to be able to type my feelings out again. i managed to type this in under 5 minutes so i should do this more often hurhur.

also my phone is officially losing it there are screws loose and it won't show me any notifications for my whatsapp or snap or insta like anything. so when i go in it keeps crashing and crashing bc theres too many messages wow!!!!

o shat my iron deficiency is getting worse lmao I'm already feeling light headed dfshljkzcfsdc okay great i should do my argumentative essay now bye

!!

so its currently like 12.30 am wow living life on the edge and yeah i haven't blogged in a long while and i actually shouldn't be doing it now because I'm trying to start on my literature graded thing but what the heck. sooooooo i ran for house comm (yes again lulzers) i don't know whether ill get the position i want (i didn't choose captain btw or treasurer omg haha) but hey if i make it to the house comm that'll be really cool, the experience was gr8 last year and i think it'll be even better if i do it with people from the same batch!!

oh yeah so cca fair comm yeh i was in that too and it wasn't that bad i mean all i was in charge of was the shirts which by now i have so much experience in already since choir so I was stressing or anything (that badly if anything) and the school made us sit in the hall while before the sec 4 2014 collected their results it was sooooo friggin nerve wrecking i almost died and they were weren't seeing them getting their results its just the overview of how the cohort did and all those briefing whiz and i thought i was going to die of nervousness sitting behind i kept clutching danisha's pinafore usfhdjkzcxmn i cant even imagine myself over there next year tbhhh (ill probably look back at this post and smile very stupidly at myself SO THANKS TO MYSELF FOR SURVIVING OS YOU DID IT MUACKS)

and I'm so ridiculously excited for poly life ermegerd psychology plssss and also exploring the fact that ill go into sports when I'm in poly I'm definitely not sticking with performing arts :) so many new experiences i literally cant wait to get out of school its unreal. GAH spazzing away about poly life nngffff I'm literally so motivated rn to get my shit together (including chinese which is like wut even) i just want to get the best i can so i can secure my spot in psychology i want it sososoosoooo bad and they're only taking in 50 students with a 9-pointer cut off point (its the lowest COP course in TP lul) i cant even I'm going to die from feels hehehe

ogey i should continue my essay much love muacks :):):):):))